• social games, four

    What did you want this year
    …but not get?

    It was something ineffable. 

    Because all I really wanted this year was some kind of reassurance, clinging to the frosty winter air, that the raw stupid of modern society might be waning, that people have started to see through the fog of misinformation and impending societal collapse and are maybe, possibly, hopefully doing something about it.

    I know that the new year tends to be a time of resolution and change, and while we’re all renewing our gym memberships and swearing off chocolate for a few weeks, it should also be a time of a bigger reflection on the habits that have a much bigger impact on how we will live our lives in the coming year. 

    I did not get the thing I wanted most which was the waking up of the world to the dizzying harms of social media upon our world. I would tell you that I have logged off from corporate social sites about 85% completely. I still lurk occasionally. I still troll through Threads and Bluesky to see what a few of my friends are posting. I still occasionally treat Reddit like my morning paper while I sip my coffee. I still maintain a Youtube fever for political commentary. I updated Instagram on the daily while we were on vacation and still have a half dozen accounts that show up in my profile. 

    Yet, I did not log onto Facebook once in 2025. Not once! And I deleted my twitter account fully and completely this past year, too. I steer clear of the crazier platforms entirely. I won’t even name those: if you know you know.

    Here’s the thing tho: I thought something was true and I was not entirely correct: I thought that if we, the prolific posters, stopped posting then the people who came to those sites to simply witness our participation might … you know… lose interest. Leave. Quit social. But no. It turns out that between AI slop and propaganda engines and meme generators and marketplace listings most people are hooked like fish on the line and are slowly being reeled into a life of inescapable doomscrolling participation. They kept the apps, but stopped looking for their friends. Now they attend for the shit show.

    Worst of all, my province (while it may not have led the charge this year) had a giant float in the crazy parade. The mindless reposting of everything from political nationalist reactionism to medical misinformation means we have a local government bigger than their own britches who is is using antidemocratic tools to strip away basic human rights and a populous who has generated an eighteenth century style fear of medicine so strong that we brought back a near-extinct disease. Sadly, I know enough people cheering this all on that it breaks me a little bit more each time I hear it.

    I admit. Every year or so I vow to step away from social media, and realistically I don’t think it will ever fully happen.  But there is something ineffable and important about the way I still work quietly behind the scenes, online and on my own platforms, to keep my voice… and my sanity… a further step away with each attempt.  I continued to strengthen that resolve in 2025 but I still never really got it to where I wanted it to be. It never really landed. Maybe it never will. It’s forever worth the effort, tho.

    Next year? I have my typical list of new resolutions for 2026: Read more. Write more. Swim more. Eat better. You know, the standard sort of being better stuff. But nestled in there somewhere is the vibe that I plan to take yet another step further from those dank platforms and keep fostering my own personal voice somewhere else. Where that all leads? I don’t know, but I do know that each year it is less about screaming into the void and more about hanging onto reality with every ounce of strength. 

    I don’t know that it will get me the sense of hope that I am yearning for so desperately, but I do think that in the trying there is something important and resolute. Worth seeking, even if I never actually find it.

  • carey christmas

    What did you want this year
    … and get?

    Drew.

    Oh, don’t get me wrong. Santa was pretty generous this year as usual, and even before Christmas morning I had tallied a long list of random things I’ve picked up along the way this past year, new toys, new tools, and travel souvenirs.

    But when I saw that after two decades missing-in-action the Drew Carey Show box set was not only finally available on iTunes but briefly on sale for boxing day… well, my nineties nostalgia nerve got pinged something fierce and now it seems like I have two-hundred and some episodes of one of my go-to shows from my twenties to blur into the new year.

    Apparently (my own memory on this is pretty fuzzy, but) the show was pretty famous for its generous use of great music. The licensing tangle that must have created, obviously preventing its release on DVD or streaming over the last few years meant that unlike all the classic sitcoms that have materialized on Netflix and other platforms lately, Drew’s television existence over the last 20 years has been largely relegated to The Price is Right… or bootlegged copies of the show which I haven’t bothered hunting down.

    The Drew Carey Show existed for me on this short list of shows we watched with dedication during our early adulthoods, like after class in University or living away from home for my first job in Vancouver. It was on constant syndication rotation on our tvs back which means (a) we watched a lot of it and (b) I don’t think I ever saw it in any rational order… what was on, was on.

    I only just processed today that there are nine seasons and 229 episodes.

    And now I’ve got them in my library. Finally.

    Silly dreams sometimes do come true.

  • who cares

    Explain a valuable life lesson you learned in 2025.

    No one cares.

    Hold up. Wait. Listen.  Whoa: I don’t mean that in a sad-sack, pity me kind of way.

    What I mean is that figuring out some perspective on the attention of others is actually, factually something that has taken me decades to put into a simple clear idea and to internalize, nearly half a century of work to break out of the patterns of my youth, and to materialize in my own mind a thought that—tho rational and clear and obvious—will still be something that it will still take me the rest of my life to ever feel comfortable settling into as a firm belief that I live by without constantly reminding myself, really: it is figuring out that no one really actually cares…

    No one is looking.

    No one is actually paying attention.

    No one is paying as much attention to you as you are.

    No one is concerned about the choices you make (inasmuch as long as those choices don’t get in their way and cause them harm or cost them money or whatever.)

    People will judge, sure. People might gossip, of course. But at the end of the day no one really actually cares enough to even think much about those things let alone put in the effort to try to stop each of us from doing and being the things we want to be.

    That can have a net negative result if people get lost down rabbit holes of weird or dangerous pursuits, sure, but the upside is that IF no one actually cares, then hell… we can all be pretty much free to create what we want to create, to draw the thing we want to draw and to sing the songs we want to sing. Anything. No one cares.

    People will pay attention, glance in our direction, leave comments, maybe even talk behind our backs, possibly orbit in our lives for a time and disrupt each of our effort to be our true selves, but no one ACTUALLY cares… at least not as much as we each think everyone does, and not with anything comparable in scale to the focus each of us puts upon our own lives.

    I spent a lot of years hesitating to make or do or say because I was brought up to think that the nattering of external commentary on the things I chose was as valuable—if not of vastly greater value—than the value I put on it for myself. But that’s not true at all.

    The reality is that unless someone has a weird sort of toxic obsession with us, which is probably way more rare than most people assume, the average person out there doesn’t really give a spit about any other average person… or us.

    Our coworkers acknowledge our value. Our friends may even like us. Our family possibly loves us. Whatever. But…

    No. One. Cares.

    Not what you choose to do and not who you choose to be.

    (And anyone who might care a bit too much isn’t worth listening to actually… so in my experience they don’t f-ing count. Micromanaging bosses. Overbearing partners. Terrible governments. Fuck em all. )

    The point being is that it is easy to get hung up wondering what people will think or say or how they will react to a job change or a life choice or the colour of your new car or the fact you stopped at the drive thru for a hamburger after work… but no one cares.

    It’s easy to assume that if you spend your evenings pursuing a hobby that you love or learn a second language or study something wild in school or write weird niche fiction online under a quirky pen name that everyone is out there is just judging and talking and wagging their fingers… but actually: no one cares.

    No one cares.

    No. One. Cares.

    And that’s a good thing. It is freeing. It leaves us to pursue being the people who we want to be.

    A lesson worth caring about. At least little. 

  • kiyomizu-dera

    What adventure from 2025 will be forever etched upon your memory?

    It would be super simple sitting here less than a month after spending most of November in Japan to just write… Japan! with a huge exclamation mark and move on to the next post (heck knows these days leading in the holidays are busy and I have things I should be doing besides writing daily blog posts… whose idea was this blog-every-day thing anyway!?)

    But let me tell you how I spent my birthday. In Kyoto.

    There are almost countless shrines and temples in Japan, but one up on the side of a small mountain in Kyoto called Kiyomizu-dera was a short walk from our new hotel. We had woken up in a traditional-style hotel near the Kyoto train station but had moved to an apartment style hotel a couple klicks away (for cost and location reasons—all booked months ago).

    My birthday was on a Sunday and it just happened to be the weekend that the Kiyomizu-dera temple switched to its autumn hours—counter-intuitively open later in the autumn because their grounds happened to host a large grove of Japanese maple trees which turn a beautiful hue of red. They light them up from multiple angles so that the temple and the grove become a magic place of enchanting lights and shapes and shadows.

    We decided to go up there to have a look after dinner. 

    Every person in Kyoto was also trying to get up there, apparently. 

    There is one narrow street lined with various shops selling souvenirs and foods and often both, and the street being about three meters wide it would comfortably accommodate a good few thousand people an hour walking up to the tempe itself.  Rough guess? At least ten thousand people were up there. 

    It took us nearly an hour to walk—shuffle—the kilometre-ish distance up from our hotel street to the temple gates, and then another hour to slowly make our way through the sea of people towards the grove of trees.

    The sight was worth the effort tho.

    We amazingly found a bench and remember we just sat there in the shadow and glow of a huge maple astride a pond with the pagoda temple looming above, all of it like a fire of reds and oranges, and we just… sat there. Sat there and took it all in, kinda the pinnacle of this vacation we were taking and this quiet moment in a crowd of thousands. And somehow it had taken me exactly forty nine years and millions choices to get to this exact spot.

    And now etched permanently on my memory.

  • forty nine

    Describe your 2025 in terms of fitness, health, mind and body.

    Healing. 

    There was a time when, privacy be damned, I’d disclose and lament any and all of my personal ailments on a blog like this… but needless to say those days are gone.

    It’s enough for you to know that I am now in the last year of my 40s and what no one tells you when you start your 40s is that hardly anyone escapes their 40s without something on the old bod needing some fine tuning and generally more careful care. Even if you are reasonably active like me, running hundreds or thousands of klicks in a year and regularly hitting the pool and otherwise keeping generally on your feet, well, things start to wear out in this the decade leading to the half century mark… and as the kids be joking lately us “olds” get to tell everyone we’re historic and from the “1900s!” All of which means it has been a year of what I like to think of as evaluation and healing.

    This means that I have pretty much officially cut a few things from my diet.

    This also means that these days I make choices about running that are linked to avoiding injury as much as they are about finding adventure.

    This additionally means that I restarted this blog because I realize that it is part of a suite of writing that I do that contributes to a kind of invaluable mental health exercise.

    This also also means that it gets harder every day to think of myself as anything resembling “young” anymore, despite that I have a lot of friends whose ages start with a 5 or over a 6 who often jest that I’m still a young guy and to stop my complaining!

    So… ugh!

    I had to deal with the resurgence of my knee pain in 2025.

    I have been working through issues that taught me that digestive health can be a holistic experience and symptoms can manifest in ways and places you would not think are linked to your stomach and diet.

    I have had to do the hardest thing of all which is to accept that sometimes I am my own (and only) company and moral champion, and there are those rare times when no one else will have your back, even close family.

    It has been a year of growth and healing and thinking and making and being, which in a year of the world being the opposite of that has often been counter-intuitive… tho pretty rewarding in the end.

blog.8r4d.com

I’ve been writing meandering drivel for decades, but here you’ll find all my posts on writing, technology, art, food, adventure, running, parenting, and overthinking just about anything and everything since early 2021.

In fact, I write regularly from here in the Canadian Prairies about just about anything that interest me. Enjoy!

Blogging 426,972 words in 564 posts.

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