For the entire month of June I’m planning on writing a series of blog-a-day posts based on a set series of open-ended questions to myself. This is one of those posts.
June 18th // Something You Are Ignoring
Blogging is a funny thing. Sometimes, like with this push for thirty questions in June, it consumes your free time. You hold an idea in your head for hours so that it can stew, baste and other-cooking-type-metaphor things. But then… Sometimes you just forget about it. Ignore it.
I was not ignoring this blog. Instead, I was scanning across the ‘8’ questions, looking for a bit of a theme to write on today: first, last-week-or-so’s “Something You Have Fixed“, then this post, “Something You Are Ignoring”, followed by “Something You Want To Break” in another ten days. So then — I quietly ask myself — what is that particular ‘something’ that is trying so hard to emerge as a theme from this set of questions? What is stuck in the middle of that, that is something I am ignoring? Do I know? What is worth writing about? What is the…
But, despite my all-consuming confusion on the subject, I think I do know the answer.
It’s my parenting blogger hat.
See, ten days ago, I wrote about a funny little fatherhood experience that conveniently emerged as I sat on the couch trying to ignore the fact that I couldn’t actually think of something that I’d recently fixed. Then, voila! Bloody nose, crying daughter, and… there it was. And for a few days I was feeling pretty good about capturing that moment.
Thinking ahead ten days, I can get glimmers of things — parenting related — that bring out the skeptical, rational-minded father in me and leave the air rife with topics about parenting, et cetera, of things I’d like to break. And thinking about that I’m getting all tingly. I’m anticipating writing about dad-hood and getting all in-your-face-opinionated about something for a good cause.
But right here in the middle, there is something — possibly — and perhaps by the very fact that I AM ignoring it so well, I am ignoring and completely oblivious to the fact I am ignoring it. And maybe I’m only thinking all this because of the fact that tomorrow is Father’s Day, and this whole weekend is promising to be plumped full of father-ish type activity, that I’m not actually, truly, positively admitting to myself that I am ignoring. But I am, right?
Thing is, something I do quiet enjoy thinking and writing about is parenting topics. It’s a big, important part of my life these days. But I also have to fully admit that I’ve lately been ignoring something related to that job, and the ‘other duties as required’ classification that goes along with. See, for the longest time — well, since a few months prior to this whole fatherhood gig — I have actually, diligently, been busy keeping a fairly extensive collection of writings on fatherhood. Some have been here. Some have been other places. It’s not exactly a book-level quantity of writing, but given that your average twenty-first century North American father probably writes very, very little about the experience of the same, I am one of those dudes in the — as it’s called — long tail of things, who is practically drowning in words on the subject.
Or at least I would be, were I not ignoring that so much, at least lately.
Now, one may have noticed, if one is stumbling anew through this blog, that I’ve added a lot of — well, let’s call them security — features since last I hosted this collection of words out in the open. For example, if you want to post a comment, you need to buck up and register for an account. (And there is no way to cross-link your openid account, or your facebook account, or your google acocunt, or whatever. It’s really not meant for much of any other reasons than to (a) make you stop and think “do I really want to comment?” and (2) make me stop and think “do I really want your comment?” And yes, I’m being picky that way now. Suck it up. This isn’t a democratic website.)
But the thing is, I do like to blog. I really like it. Even if no one is reading, I’m going to blog. For some reason I don’t think it is something I am able to ever give up. And as such, I’m going to be doing it for a very long time. So, along with all the security concerns, and privacy concerns, and opinionated concerns about such things, the fact also remains that a lot of the time I’m going to have a very different opinion about things than a lot my diverse readers. This is particularly true about parenting. And this is much of the reason why I have a place where I write about parenting that — while many, many people know about it — if you are a reader here, you may or may not know about that space, too.
Or you might. It’s not a deal. It just is.
But I’ve been ignoring that space lately. And I can’t exactly put my finger on why I’ve been ignoring it. Thing is, this isn’t some private intervention for my actions of ignoring it. It’s mostly just a statement of fact. Fact is, I have a lot of little projects on the side. This is still — kinda — a side-type project. It just is. And sometimes some get more attention than others. There’s nothing to be mis-interpretted from that.
But that project has a special kind of place in my heart, maybe because writing there for so many years now and getting a better sense of myself as both a person and a dad — whether readers agree with that sense of either (and I know lots might not) — maybe that has made me a better dad — at least I’d like to think so. And as I’ve been so good at ignoring it lately, it kinda makes me wonder if I’m missing out on something else that might come out of it. Or whatever.
Ignoring things does that.