June moves into the home stretch! And onward we push through those thirty posts nearing the end of what I’ve been writing every year this month. For the fifth year in a row I’m back to a month of daily blogging: each day a new post on a new topic, but on the same blog-per-day topic as last year, creating another set of Those 30 Posts in June. Today, that post just happens to be about something that I want:
To Forget… My Browser History
Whoa! Hold on there, cowboy! This is NOT that kind of post.
See, we’re on the final lap of vehicle shopping. Buying a new car or truck is a time-worn activity of mutual manipulation of buyer and vendor wherein the shopper attempts to acquire a vehicle for the lowest possible cost with the most possible features whilst the vendor attempts to secure the most amount of money and up-sell the shopper with overpriced and questionably valued add-ons like extended guarantees, undercoatings and security glass.
In the good old days this meant trolling dealer lots and reading magazine reviews while you learned as much as you could about your anticipated purchase without actually being sucked into a negotiation vortex prematurely.
Alas, in the age of the internet where information floweth like water from a glacier in a season of unquestionable climate change, vehicle shopping involves sleuthing online through countless websites, deciphering trust values from a slog-load of review, distilling invoice pricing from trade-in values from incentives and dealer mark-ups, downs and sideways.
I wish it were more like buying a DVD. One-click, free-shipping, and two days later you’re unwrapping a cardboard box dropped on your step. But no. We must dance. We must close our eyes and play the car buying game.
And I’ve reconciled to that.
Yet, Big Brother Web Tracker is watching and tracking, and there doesn’t seem to be a way to tell Google or Doubleclick or whatever agency is mapping one of a hundred bits browsing and search information against my profiled online existence that the game is in its final stages. We’ve settled. We’re negotiating. We’re going to sign some papers. Right now –these moments here– are literally the furthest I am going to be from selecting another new vehicle for the foreseeable future. The choice has been made. Come back and see me again in five years, perhaps because I don’t need to see a truck advertisement every time I open my browser for the rest of the summer. You are wasting your time.
Just forget me.
I want to forget my browsing history. I think I preferred it when all I saw were Swiffer and GoPro commercials.