There was a spoof car advertisement floating around the web recently. I don’t know if you saw it. It looked like a typical car spread from a glossy magazine, a stylish coupe pouring over a winding scenic road. The text implied that the car was called “The Bailout. Coming this January” and the sub-text read: “You wouldn’t buy our shitty cars. So we’ll be taking your money anyways.”

Apparently General Motors is on the brink of bankruptcy. And when I say “brink” I really mean that sometime today they will be officially filing for bankruptcy, marking what will likely be the long, slow death of the monumental corporation. After all, even if it survives the near-death experience will have changed it in ways that can only be speculated at now.

I own a GM car. We bought a Pontiac Sunfire in the days before our wedding as our old vehicle ass-ploded as it climbed through the mountains driving back for the event. We bought it in haste. We bought it on a budget. We bought it cheap.

Now, some would argue that when you buy a cheap car you get what you pay for. And I guess — to a certain limit — that is true. After all, what should one really expect for a mere twenty-thousand dollars. I mean, I understand that quality service costs money. I get that companies need to stay trim to operate and they can’t just be, y’know, honoring warrantees left and right. And heck, when you buy a cheap car do you really expect the smooth ride to last? I mean shocks are rated for what, a couple hundred kilometers at most. And the brakes? Hey! They weren’t squeaking when you drove off the lot, dude.

Admittedly we stopped bringing the car into the GM shop for service years ago. I guess I was a little frustrated that they thought it good for repeat business to up-sell Karin on servicing that was over-kill for the problem. I mean when you go in for fifty bucks worth of work and you spend ten times that… well, I suppose a company like GM wouldn’t have built all those sparkling car lots with all that bright chrome and glowing Vegas-like neon signs by not gambling a little bit with their customer loyalty. Too bad the house doesn’t always win.

If you work for GM I guess I could feign interest and toss some pity your way. I’m not going to. Companies like that, crumbling to dust in the wake of a harsh economy and disrespectful business practices are like ailing cars serviced by their own employees: and if those employees showed as much attention to the company as they showed to my vehicle, it’s no doubt that so many are now looking for work.

It doesn’t matter that much to me at a personal level. I mean I understand that the ground will shake a little as the giant topples. I understand that lots of people will be hit with debris as a corporate behemoth crashes at such speed. But sometimes you just gotta rip a bandage off fast, even if you lose a few hairs.

And I was never going to buy another GM car again anyhow.