Back in September I set for myself a few physical fitness slash lifestyle goals with a juicy reward playing the role of ‘carrot’ as a motivational factor to push the whole get-in-shape and eat-better masochistic agenda I implemented around the same time. Six months on I would qualitatively rate my results as a pass, though hesitantly quantify that pass as a B-grade effort. Wrapped in that particular agenda was a select nutritional regimen, a training goal, and a handful of moderate lifestyle adjustments with longer-term benefits. I’m sure most readers prefer me not to indulge to them the details of this effort, save for the curious philosophical question of personal motivation that goes something like this: I promised myself a reward to accomplish a task. I accomplished said task. So certain was I that I would not accomplish said task, that I convinced myself that the promised reward is nothing more than a vacant consumer trapping and that ultimately I don’t need it and never really wanted it to begin with. Now, I’m not sure if I’m deluding myself or if I genuinely don’t want the aforementioned reward. Subsequently this leaves me struggling with the value of any future reward-based deals that are so likely to be broken by my neurotic future-selves and pondering the breach of trust that has occurred between me, myself, and I. I’ve betrayed my past self and am reaping the rewards of his diligent efforts. What effect is this going to have on any future deals I strike with myself if I can’t be trusted to keep up the future-end of the bargain? |
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