Apparently, our bout of unseasonably warm weather is coming to an end. It’s weird observation of the humanity around us that everyone tries to blame the weather on themselves. A superstition, I guess. But so many people I’ve talked to lately have some cornball theory about how their actions have doomed the string of warmth we’re experiencing, like they actually have some effect on the outcome of the global climate.

I’ve heard car related reasons: “Oh, I just switched my tires!” or “I just washed my car!”

Sometimes simple activites seem to be the force behind climate change: “We bought season passes to the ski hill this year, now everythings gonna melt!” or “Just when it got time to take down the Christmas lights — bam!”

Often they are travel related: “Just when we get back from somewhere warm, it turns cold!” or “That cloud is following me wherever I go!”

I mean, I understand superstitious pattern-finding behaviour, but c’mon! This is the twenty-first century. We’re people of science and communications, and the intraweb! Once and for all: it’s not you, it’s not your dog or your house or your car, it’s not even some angry norse demi-god raining chaos down upon us. Everyone should understand by now that it’s the government –using satellites and big quantum magnetic weather rays from space. Jeesh.