I suppose I need to jump on the bandwagon for a moment. I picked the paper off my front step this morning and, with the commemorative, centennial edition wrapped snuggly to it with an elastic band, it was hard not to remember that today, apparently, is the one-hundreth anniversary of this province in which we live. Happy 100 years Alberta! Usually a guy is lucky to see one of those in his life. That said, I doubt I’ll be around for two-hundred.
I’m celebrating by getting a haircut.
And perhaps I’ll watch some of the festivities on television later. But, oh, I don’t know. Fireworks have never really impressed me all that much, and it’s even more difficult to enjoy them when one’s wife is away on vacation. Maybe I’ll just finish my book and get rested up for the events fast approaching around this long weekend.
On a side note: Somebody said there were negotiations between the government and NASA to have photos taken from space of the fireworks simultaneously exploding across the province. I think, perhaps, there is a misunderstanding of two things involved with this: (1) Alberta is very big, and (2) Fireworks are actually not that impressive. I imagine someone thought it would look like the province was lit-up from space. I’m sorry to suggest that, well, no. Apart from the gargantuan levels of normal, city light pollution that will virtually drown out (when viewed from space) every temporary, colourful flare we are able to shoot off, imagine the province as a map approximately the size of your wall. Now, imagine that every firework burst is a speck of dust on that wall. Oh, but wait! There will be ten (count’em — 10!) of specks of dust — surely this will make the wall look as though it’s been splattered with heaps of goopy mud?
Ah. Well. Maybe not.
So, yeah. My point: we’re small, the city, province, country, and universe is very big. It’s something akin to what Douglas Adams might say: The Total Perspective Vortex is the most horrible torture device a sentient being can be subjected to. It shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says “You Are Here” which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot. The machine was originally invented by one Trin Tragula in order to annoy his wife. Because she was forever nagging him for having no sense of proportion, he decided to invent something that would show her what having a sense of proportion really meant. Unfortunately the shock of being placed in the Vortex destroyed her brain, but Trin Tragula’s grief was tempered by the knowledge that he had been right and she had been wrong. The Total Perspective Vortex had proved that in an infinite universe the one thing sentient life cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
Just, then: Happy 100th!