Donna arrived at the office this afternoon — unexpected, as she is still on holidays — to brag about the new glittering rock perched atop her finger. Apparently, Mark proposed this weekend and they are planning a September wedding in Ontario. Looming in the distance was the report on the radio this morning — and a quick search of Google News turned up an article in the Toronto Star — that 2003 has been declared by Indian astologers as the worst time EVER to get married. The Indian gurus are quoted as saying that “most stargazers are ruling out marriage until at least mid-January when the planets change to a better position.”

Some people would find this disturbing, but not us. The date for our wedding was chosen by rigorous mathematical consultation and through in-depth consultations with obscure references on linear quantum mechanics.

First, the year:

2003 is actually a lateral bisection of the number 23. The bisection has been created by the use of two null non-value place-holders, or zeros. In physics the number zero has no meaning — or is at least paradoxical as “nothing” cannot be measured and thus cannot exist — and is therefore a voided space-marker representing nothingness. Since no quantum analysis can be completed on the numbers zero and zero, we void them and are left with the number 23. The number twenty-three is significant for a couple of reasons:

(1) it is the combination of two prime digits, 2 and 3

(2) it is, itself, a prime number

(3) it is a vastly significant number in many respects

(4) it is the “day” of my birthday

(5) it is the number of pairs of human chromosomes, a modern symbol of fertility, and thus a modern link to matrimonial purpose

Then, the month and day:

The date, August sixteenth, is a mathematically powerful set of numbers, both in the decimal system, but also — as we live in a digital world — in the binary system. Look first, at the number 8, represented in binary as 1000. The number 16, represented in binary is 10000. This — relatedly — is linked to the binary powers related to each number:

8
= 2^3
= 2 x 2 x 2

16
= 2 ^ 4
= 2 x 2 x 2 x 2
= 2^(2^2)

It should also be noted that 8 plus 16 is 24 — or one (an important symbol of marriage) plus twenty-three. Coincidence? I think not! Also, 23 + 24 = 47 (which is also a prime number!)

SO, if you even thought for one minute that Karin and I were in trouble — matrimonially speaking — because of the twisted astrological “wisdom” of some overseas philosopher, well, that makes about as much sense as what I just wrote.