This has been an emotional rollercoaster of a couple of days.

On Thursday morning the “big boss” from Toronto arrived in the office — unexpectedly, and with a solemn look on his face. He asked to see one of my co-workers, to whom he explained briefly why he was there, and then went into a meeting with my boss. The door was closed, and that’s never a good thing. An hour later each us was called one by one into our supervisor’s office to hear the bad news. Our boss had just been fired by the “big boss” for a number of various reasons. I’m not going to go into these here: they are — I assume — numerous, and deal with fund raising goals, and long term strategic planning — though I use words that are not really my own. I’m sure there are other reasons, but they are definitely not criminal and speculation hints at clashes of personality and speak to when these situations arise out of people being unable to work together. I don’t really blame anyone less or more than anyone else, but when a rock finally slips, it’s usually the smaller one that loses out.

The last couple of days I’ve heard a lot of things. Thought a lot of things. Someone being fired in your (small) office is not a common experience, and when you would (as much as you can think this off a boss) consider him a friend, it sucks all that much more. I’ve heard all the old cliches: that it’s for the best, and that the change will work out for everyone, that change is difficult, and that we need to stick together now. It’s strange how those thoughts are of so little comfort.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s more a general disbelieving shock. I’m a little disgruntled at the org right now, but that too will pass. According to our debrief yesterday, we’ll be pretty much on interim leadership for at least 6 months while they search for a replacement.

It’s funny, people react so differently. Some are running around in a panic — one is even considering a new career. Others are calmly, and resolvedly, shrugging and saying the “strong” things to get us all through. I’ve tried to be a bit of a rock, but that’s not always easy.